Confused?

To dreams I wake up screaming while to nightmares I smile,
lions graze in my backyard and lambs roar in the wild.
Beginnings await my arrival while destinations I leave behind,
honey burns in my veins while poison feels surprisingly kind.

Their songs my eyes see while my ears listen to them paint,
the murderer I embrace, but mercilessly scythe down the saint.
The moon lights my noon while the sun warms my night,
darkness opens my vision but I am blinded by the light.

For captivity I fight while from freedom I flee,
wounds give me pleasure but with pampering I bleed.
With pens my words vanish while erasers ink them to life,
I pray to lord for war while peace I put to knife.

I slice through the maze while I get lost on the streets,
am I just confused or am I just confused?