27 random things about me

I was born in Elite Hospital, Koorkancherry, Thrissur, Kerala, 50 metres away from where my parents got married.

I lifted my cousin sister’s blouse as a 2-year-old. Out of curiosity of course.

I chewed up a millipede once, mistaking it for ‘Cadbury’s Gems’.

It took me a ladoo to stop crying on my first day at Kindergarten which was called ‘The Ladies Club Nursery’.

I wanted to be an oceanographer when I was 10.

I used to flick center-spreads from the ‘Sportstar’ magazine at the school library and slide it under the door for later use.

As a kid, I used to cover my face with a blanket, stand by an open window at night, and challenge the ghosts.

I used to narrate tales of a fictional character (Jimmy, my creation) to my brother over a period of at least five years.

I learnt cycling on BSA SLR, for ladies, which was blue in colour.

I burnt the Sulphur deposits in my township as a kid and it took three fire engines to put the fire out.

I used to hate women touching me till I was 15. Things turned overhead since.

I got my first offer letter from a firm in New Delhi called ‘The Grasshoppers’. I promptly hopped the next day to McCann.

I started following Manchester United thinking they were underdogs. The year was 1998. The opposition was Aston Villa.

I have been scared of spiders ever since I looked one in the eye as I was climbing up my cupboard.

I used to play as center forward in football, score goals at will and never ever run more than 50 yards the entire game.

My first drink was a mix of Romanov vodka and 7up.

One of cousins is/was gay, and as a little kid, used to grab my buttocks.

I can’t swim.

My first relationship lasted 3 months. It took me 6 months to get over her.

I am not very fond of babies. I think most of them are wicked.

I have nightmares of eunuchs.

I used to pray till I was 14.

I have loved two women intensely through my life. I lost both of them, one as recently as a year ago.

I love Melody candies.

I hate foolish people. Don’t even start defining.

I ride a 350cc Royal Enfield classic. I bought it with the only money I ever saved.

The first audio cassette I purchased was ‘Gentleman’, a Tamil movie.