Options

Options – a word hated and dreaded with equal passion by the creative department in any advertising agency. But why? Let us solve the mystery.

Here is a conversation between a client servicing executive and a copywriter. ‘C’ shall represent the copywriter and ‘S’ would stand for the servicing executing.

C: But why the fuck do you need more options? It is six in the evening and my friends are waiting.

S: The client said so.

C: So?

S: See, I forwarded the mail to you as it is. It is not my requirement. It is the client’s call.

C: Do you even know what this poster is supposed to do?

S: The communication strategy as discussed during the client meeting states it all. It is the result of a country-wide market research programme otherwise known as a dipstick. So the margin for error is almost nil.

C: I repeat, do you even know what this poster is supposed to do?

S: As I was saying, the client thinks the feasibility study done by the research firm justifies the need for the communication in order to increase the footfalls…

C: Whatever! Let me put it to you simply. This poster does precisely what it is supposed to do. Making a series out of it doesn’t make sense. It would dilute the communication.

S: I completely understand and I personally love the poster. But what can I do when the client is adamant?

C: Open your MBA mouth and talk.

S: See dude, you do not understand the business side of things. Do you realize how important this client is to us? This retainer pays most of our salaries.

C: Can you please cut the bullshit and come to the point?

S: (After a pause) The point is, I have no fucking clue as to what this job is all about. My boss had to go shopping and this was shoved down my throat. And I am sure she doesn’t know the job well either. Even otherwise, my job basically involves forwarding client mails to you and vice versa. I have been asked to create panic and make mountains out of molehills. I think advertising is a cool job and hence I am around. I also have a low self esteem and hence am immune to the abuses from your end and from the client’s end. I delay briefs purposely in order to stay back after 9 for free dinner and a cab ride back home. Over. Now what’s your story?

C: More options mean more work. Period.

I could go on and on. But you kinda get it, don’t you?

Cynicism - the good side - in fact the only side

Cynicism seems to be the order of the day, or rather the best among a multitude of ‘isms’ around begging to be followed. Unless you like cruel surprises of course. Ones like - Water is at times thicker than blood. Cheating is not confined to ‘Desperate Housewives’. Death is not for the body alone. The proverbial friend in need is just proverbial. Cigarettes cause hypertension on the long run. Even healthy food kills. Reality shows are scripted. NGOs exist only in concept. Size does matter. Man created God and not the other way around. Well, I am not claiming that Cynicism makes one immune from it all. It just helps to remain prepared.