Unevolve!

what the f*#k?

Unevolve

“Woof, woof! Looks like you are on the wrong side of your territory,” barks the dog. “Looks like you are on the wrong side of the evolution curve,” replies Garfield. The fat cat might have been joking, but how I would love to be on the other side, he would never know.

I was having one of these ‘rum’ sessions with Vivi. I luv these sessions because of the quality(very subjective) of the conversations we have. Before that, let me tell you about vivi. Vivi is one of my closest friends. He has been going through a rehab of sorts, had a serious drinking and drug problem. He is one troubled mind, who believes that the whole world is against him. His love for his dad lasts only as long as the bottle of booze his dad buys him on weekends. That time is halved the instance I decide to barge in on weekends. Let me get back to the session. When we have these sessions, we discuss about the weirdest things on the planet. Simple things which might have been overlooked; crazy things which humans would fear to contemplate (includes him and me) under normal sober conditions and lots more. Things that made sense to just both of us.
In the end, that is all that matters. Why should a conversation between two make sense to the world? Why the hell is the world so bothered? Why is life so complicated?

One of the things we discussed that day was about the complications in life. Why is life so complicated? Why does a newborn baby cry? Medical science claims that the moment of the first cry is the moment of life. The moment when the child takes his first breath. That is the scientific part of things. You know what I think? I think, the baby cries because it is the moment of realization. A realization that it is not safe anymore. The simple agenda in the mother’s womb is over. It is a mess out there. The baby is crying on the thought – Why isn’t the world as transparent as a mother’s womb?

Can’t we live like our forefathers…when I say forefathers, I mean, ‘the stone age men.’ The guys from over a million years ago. Forget the ‘sun worship’ part. The rest of it. No electricity bills, no career counseling, no office politics, no traffic jams, no prohibition, no rapes, no AIDS, no hassles. Hunting for food, caves for shelter and a mate for love(literally and laterally). Life was so simple. Why ain’t it anymore? Today if I have to write an ad, I have to think about the consumer psyche more than I think about my parents. What the flying fuck? Dinosaurs might have been a threat. But they don’t bully you. They don’t kill you on a monthly basis with income tax. If your fate would have it, you would have sudden death. Why aint life as straight and simple as that?

Take my case for instance. I am stranded with hardly my bread and butter. Copywriters don’t earn much. I advise all aspirants to think twice before opting for the glamorous advertising life. I survive on a ‘brunch’ all day. Landlady calls up and all efforts of charming the MILF are dissolved in a solvent of monetary demands. In the stone age, all I would have to fight for my place of residence with, would have been a pterodactyl. Why ain’t life as simple as 1 million B.C. or whereabouts.

I guess I would have proudly owned Garfield’s statement. It would have been a privilege to be on the primitive side of life. It would have been a luxury. Hunting wild boars, making cave paintings and making love to my mate and with some luck, some other desperate cavewoman. Neanderthals rule. Why ain’t I on the wrong side of the evolution curve?